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"Doctor", Parody of "Starman"Another lonely night in Leadworth by myself
Nothing to do, I was bored you know ow ow
This crack was scarin' me, something bout Prisoner Zero it said
Then a loud sound, then a man (not ginger)
Made me cook him up custard and fish fingers
That weren't no policeman, this was something much more weird
There's a Time Lord waiting in the sky
He's coming down to meet us
But I think he'll blow our minds
There's a Doctor waiting in the sky
He took me on his spaceship
Said he'd need me for a while
He tells me:
"I've heard children crying
To save them all I'm trying
And just this once, not lying."
He took me up and showed me everything ing ing
Left my fiancée and engagement ring ing ing
Met up with Van Gogh and with Winston Churchill too
I got pregnant, had a baby girl irl irl
She grew up and was then feared by every world orld orld
She was my best friend too, now tell me, is that not right?
So I'm Amy, floating through the sky
Then Rory came to meet us
But he always seems to die
So we're h
Watched by a godA god sat on his throne of clouds and observed the world beneath him. This was one of his least favourite planets, a pathetic little blob of green and blue in an old-fashioned section of the universe. He didn't know why he'd chosen to watch them, barely paying attention, the way they watched their televisions.
The inhabitants had named it Earth, but it was known by a much more offensive name in ethereal circles.
The natives here, a mostly sapient race called humans, had messed up. Many planets had races that had failed, but few had failed as dramatically as the humans. While other cultures explored the limits of knowledge and scientific advancement, humans had apparently given up, inventing instead a billion and one ways to amuse themselves without achieving anything worthwhile.
The slacker species of the universe a species predisposed to play.
Last time the god had watched here, the humans had just worked out exactly what gravity was and how it worked. It was hardly a mystery b
Xanthic LightAlice and Edward stepped closer together, examining one another in the streetlight. Both of them had aged since they'd last seen one another and looked curiously the same but so different.
"Can you believe it's been fifteen years?" Edward said, raising his hand to stroke Alice's hair.
"Don't," she said. "Edward, please don't do this."
"Fifteen years," he said again. "Great Scott, you can't tell me that the feelings aren't still there, even after all this time." He begged her to agree with him.
"I can't," she said, refusing to look at him now he was so close. Just run, she thought. Kicking herself inside, she wondered why she had agreed to see him. Love didn't fade, even after all this time.
"Maybe I should just go," she said.
"No," he said, firmly. "Oh please, don't go. Please, I made such a mistake when I left you. Queen of my heart, forever and a day." Roaring cars passed them on the bridge, a few of them wondering who the two people were chatting over the water. She wished she had j
Deceased - IIIDying hurts, and don't let anyone tell you any different. People bang on about how, "Oh, he died peacefully in his sleep" and shit like that but don't believe a word of it. OK, my death was violent anyway nothing prepares you for being catapulted through a windscreen but I've spoken to people up here who've died in their sleep and apparently it's no less painful. It's something to do with the soul having to be ripped from the body "ripped" being the key word here.
On the whole though, once you've gone through that, it's actually quite peaceful. I thought I'd be worrying non-stop about the people I've left behind but as it turns out, I'm not. That's not to sound selfish, it's just that once I'm up here, there's nothing I can do about them. Well, OK, so I can help one person, but you don't get any choice in the matter.
Everyone's a guardian angel up here, see. You die, you cover someone's back until the time they're destined to die, making sure they don't pop it firs
Painter - IIWith Josh gone, I don't know what to do anymore. I know we were together for just eleven months, but it felt so right. I guess it always feels right at the beginning if it didn't, you wouldn't press on. Art is my final class of the day but I'm not really with it. We're supposed to be painting the still life in front of us a mish-mash of fabrics, fruit, stuffed birds and the top half of a mannequin but my mind isn't on it. Everyone has made some progress but I still have a pure white canvas staring back at me.
I pick up a paintbrush and continue to think about Josh. It's been a week now. I had a few days off school for it but because I'm not family or anything, I can't get compassionate leave or anything. I've just got to press on. It's hard to think of him laughing and joking now I've seen him with his blood and brains smeared across the front of his car. My leg still twinges a bit from where it was caught under the dashboard, but it's not severely damaged.
Grapevine - IYou'll never guess what I heard! No, wait, I mean it! I shouldn't even really be gossiping about it but I had to tell someone. Do you remember Pete? You know, Pete thingy? The one who was going out with Tina but they broke up when she slept with his brother? You must remember! Think back, it was huge news like, last month. No, two months ago. I don't know. Yeah?
No, well anyway, you remember his mate Duncan? Oh you must know! You'd know him if you saw him he's the one who got really wasted at Anne's eighteenth? Jumped on the table and declared himself King of the Lesbians? Long hair? Anyway, never mind him, it's his brother, Josh. You have to remember Josh! That's right, the one who spent last Hallowe'en making eyes at you and your pumpkin costume. Totally hot.
Anyway, yeah, you'll never guess what happened! He was out driving with his girlfriend Becky you must know Becky and anyway, what they're saying is that he swerved to avoid a deer and crashed and he's dead.
I wake up.I wake up.
I'm on a dark desert highway and I don't remember how I got here. There are a few stars in the sky but no moon and not enough light to guide me. I reach into my pockets and pull out a torch, but with nothing for the light to bounce off, I cannot tell how far I am from anything.
I begin to walk, and I walk for several hours, or maybe days, or maybe just a couple of minutes. I arrive at a house with lights burning from every window. I knock on the door and the wood sounds like metal. There is a clank and a clang and the door opens slightly.
An old woman's face looks out at me. She screams something in a language I don't understand and I feel a bullet lodge itself in my lung. I choke and I wake up
I'm leaning against a set of lockers in my school corridor and I don't remember how I got here. It's after hours, still light outside but the school is empty. I walk down the corridor, which seems longer than I remember. It takes an hour to reach the door at the end. It's locked
Letter To The Future21st July 2010
To Whom It May Concern:
If you have found this letter, congratulations. I am writing this in the year 2010 and hopefully, nuclear war permitting, it will have reached you in the year 2110. The language I am writing in is English which, while I assume will still be a dominant language in one hundred years time, may have been killed off by the Chinese.
2110 sounds so futuristic, but once upon a time 2010 sounded like that, yet here I am. It's weird to think that this year is now history to you, the way we look back at 1910 and think they were a bit backwards. You probably think that about us.
It's 41 years since humans first landed on the moon (unless that has since proved to be a hoax) and we've currently no signs of heading into space again. They keep talking about it, but there's nothing happening. I hope we're on the moon by the time you read this. Hopefully you've got to Mars by now. Maybe you're reading this on Mars!
Are there aliens yet? The closest we get is Doctor
Excerpt: 2117The first noise I heard in one hundred years was a gentle hiss. I felt dizzy and realised that I was lying on cool marble table wearing only shorts. There was a mask over my mouth, feeding me oxygen. I turned my head gently to the side and noticed that the mask was connected to a tube, which fed down into a small glass dome. Inside the dome was what appeared to be a bonsai rainforest.
What I presumed to be a clock was on the wall just above it, although it was hard to tell. It had no hands but instead four circles of various sizes were in place beneath the numbers, one of them ticking with what I presumed were seconds. One was moving too fast to be properly seen.
The hissing continued, very faintly. I wanted to sit up but I quickly realised that my wrists and ankles were fastened to the table, although I could feel no fastening at all. It was almost like I'd been magnetised and stuck to the fridge.
I heard a door open and someone entered the room, and at the same time, the oxygen mask
Internetowe loweInternetowe Lowe
Życie, tak jakoś czasem dziwnie się układa
i czujemy, że w serce jest wbita szpada.
Wtedy no wiadomo, szukamy uleczenia
Bo cóż, każda jest dobra droga do zbawienia.
Niestety często nie pomoże nam rodzina.
A druh jest głuchy na żale jak wykładzina.
Wtedy szukamy dalej i dalej medyka,
bo od ignorowania problem nie zanika.
I tutaj pojawiają się nam Internety,
które mogą budować nadzieje, niestety.
Często jest tak w tej internetowej sieci,
że tam znajdują zrozumienie smutne dzieci.
Samotność jest naszym płaszczem, dobrze okrywa.
Dotyk bliskich nam osób boli jak pokrzywa.
Szukamy dlatego w sieci pocieszenia,
tam z pewnością uciekną nasze zmartwienia.
I tak bajka się toczy, czasem się tak dzieje,
że poznając kogoś przez sieć mamy nadzieje,
nie widząc osoby twarzy, nie słysząc głosu,
Egyptian BlueToday you must not touch me
as I am precious royalty
and you would pay a hefty fee
if you so much as bespattered me.
I am Cleopatra, yes,
love my face and love my dress,
I am the most brilliant thing
you will ever see.
Caesar and Marc Antony,
everybody worships me,
from the pigments on my eyelids
to my Mediterranean sea.
So kneel down and please behold:
I’m 2083 years old
but nobody will ever be
as fabulous as me.
The ClockThe clock arrived but was not on time
It was coloured in lime and covered in slime
When I hung it on the wall, it crashed to the ground
So I gave it up and sold it for a pound!
Just some ways to get kicked out of walmartWAYS TO GET KICKED OUT OF WALMART
1. 'Test' the fishing poles
2. Leave a trail of tomato juice from the bathroom
3. Enter the dressing room and yell "THERE'S NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE!!"
4. Go up to some old guy and say "Grandpa! I thought you were dead!"
5. Look for a guy that has a girl beside them and say "Who is this?" and when he says that he doesn't know who you are say " Oh, so that's how it isw. Well, whatever we had is now over you cheating liar." Then run away crying.
6. Put a wet floor sign in a carpeted area.
7. When the guards chase you, try to get to the aisle where they sell chainsaws and grab the one. Then go to the the toy, grab a teddy bear and say "Stop or the bear get's it."
8. If they catch you kick 'em in the groin and say " That's for my mom."
9. Grab a toy sword and run around yelling "FOR NARNIA!". Then find an old lady and say "AH! IT'S THE WHITE WITCH! SOMEONE GET ASLAN!"
10. Get a toy gun and walk around singing "Secret Agent man, Secret Agent man."
Knights of the Round TableKnights of the Round Table-
Sir Cumferance sat down,
Once he'd marched around the room,
Sir Round called them closer,
And everyone assumed-,
-Sir Vive had passed away last night,
Solemn news indeed,
But Sir Prise had shocking truth,
The other knights should heed,
'How unusual' said Sir Real,
'Looks that way' announced Sir Vey,
The old knight had been murdered,
In a rather bizarre way,
Sir Gery couldn't help him,
His body torn in two,
Sir Mise suggested it was one of them,
And then all hell broke loose,
Sir Lily was appalled by this,
And blamed it on Sir Plus,
Who then, in turn, blamed Sir Feit,
And said enough's enough,
Sir Face demanded truth,
Be brought up to the table,
Sir Pass was way ahead of them,
And said that he was able,
Sir Vility gave the go ahead,
It was what everybody wanted,
Even young Sir Vant was listening,
To hear the killer taunted,
'Think, who hasn't moved yet…',
Sir Vigrous span around,
Sir Ogate went to fill his space,
Before he was caught out,
'Think who has
Helping out - (Not quite) A LimerickOne day a young Warpriest named Th...
who took part in a covert rebellion
helped a damsel in need,
who, when asked, said „Indeed.
He’s a hell of a st... I mean hellion!
UntitledEverything needs money,
Don't forget it honey.
Everyone needs dough
If they're on the go.
Can't help but spend it
Someone please send it.
Cause I'm hungry and broke;
Can't afford rum for my coke.
Ode to Magikarp
Magikarp with fins so white
Yellow crown, face froze in fright
On the end of every fishing rod
And for evolution, thou are most odd
In battle you are detrimental
You cause great losses, drives us mental
But reach a level past nineteen
And you're a wonder to be seen
For Gyarados, your new name is
In battle, a much stronger fizz
But every trainer stoops to beg
Why can't Gyarados alone come from the egg?
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Endorell-Taelos is very well known within the community for her selfless giving and gracious community spirit. Since joining DeviantART over seven years ago, Alicia has continued to make a positive impact on many deviants. Her helpful and thoughtful approach was one of her finest attributes when serving as a Community Volunteer, and this has continued throughout the many contests which Alicia provides on a regular basis. As we approach our Birthday celebrations, we can't... Read More