You'll never guess what I heard! No, wait, I mean it! I shouldn't even really be gossiping about it but I had to tell someone. Do you remember Pete? You know, Pete thingy? The one who was going out with Tina but they broke up when she slept with his brother? You must remember! Think back, it was huge news like, last month. No, two months ago. I don't know. Yeah?
No, well anyway, you remember his mate Duncan? Oh you must know! You'd know him if you saw him – he's the one who got really wasted at Anne's eighteenth? Jumped on the table and declared himself King of the Lesbians? Long hair? Anyway, never mind him, it's his brother, Josh. You have to remember Josh! That's right, the one who spent last Hallowe'en making eyes at you and your pumpkin costume. Totally hot.
Anyway, yeah, you'll never guess what happened! He was out driving with his girlfriend Becky – you must know Becky – and anyway, what they're saying is that he swerved to avoid a deer and crashed and he's dead. At least, I think he's dead. He might just be in a coma. Either way, not good news. I mean, can you imagine if he was dead?
Who did I hear this from? Well, you know Barry's dad's a policeman? Yes you do, remember, he was the one who arrested your sister that time for pissing up against the clock tower! PC Rogers, that's the one. Yeah, I know he's an arse, but he told Barry who told Katie who told Emily who told me that he'd had to go to the scene of an accident and see if it was actually an accident or something. But it must've been because it's not like anyone wanted Josh dead.
No, wait, he can't be dead because Georgina said her mum said she was looking after some guy from our year on her ward. Obviously she can't reveal who it is, but it's obvious isn't it? It's obviously Josh. Becky? Nah, Becky's OK. She's back home or in hospital or something. I think she's getting therapy.
Is her name even Becky? It's something with B… I don't know, I've never spoken to her. Wasn't she that weird one who always used to sniff loudly during Psychology classes? God, she was so annoying! Wish she'd copped it, eh? No, sorry, that's bad taste isn't it? I didn't mean it.
Actually, come to think of it I think Josh must've died because I heard Hannah talking about someone's funeral and saying he was so young. She must've been talking about Josh. What do you mean you don't know Hannah? She's the one with the dirty blonde hair, always smells of dog? I guess maybe she was talking about a dog. If one of them had died young she might've been upset. People do have funerals for their pets now don't they? Anyway, yeah, so maybe Josh is alive then. Or maybe he never had the crash, you know how these rumours get around. I don't know why people enjoy them so much – they're hurtful you know.
Come on, let's get some lunch and I'll tell you what I heard about Francesca. Oh, you must know her…